Hiiiiiii! First of all, let’s address the obvious. I have been absent from writing on this lil blog o’ mine for months now. Nothing crazy happened, I still happen to love Jesus etc. etc. but! I apparently just needed a break. And I was waiting until I really wanted to write to do so. Which brings us to my next point!
I was promoted at work this summer and as a result have been frequently working at a different office. Usually during my lunch hour I will go and exercise. However, I have not been able to the past couple of weeks with my change in schedule/location. Instead, I have taken to going for walks while listening to the Book of Mormon via the Gospel Library app. Since I live in Washington, these walks are around beautiful creeks and trees and a duck pond and nature. I’ve really grown to love this break in my day. Recently I was listening to Mosiah, and the story of the people of Alma being mistreated by the people of Amulon. In this story, the people of Alma are essentially treated as slaves and are not allowed to pray or worship as they would like to. It follows that they “poured out their hearts to God” and “he did know the thoughts of their hearts.”
I am not currently enslaved or oppressed and am blessed to live in a country where I can worship according to my conscience. However, the way that I relate to the people in this story is that there are areas of my life that cause me to “pour out my heart” to God. I oftentimes feel like God is the only person who wants to listen to me. He is the only person that’s fully updated on my life and the only person who knows all the thoughts ruminating in my heart. How God helps the people of Alma is how I think He frequently helps the rest of us. Instead of magically delivering them from captivity or taking away their trial, he made their burdens light. He did this by strengthening them that they could bear up their burdens with ease.
I remember VERY vividly the time I spent during Teach for America both as a full-time grad student and full-time teacher. I think back on it and it seems impossible. Absolutely impossible. I am sure if we all think about it, we could come up with examples of times during our lives when we simply do not know how we made it out alive. And truth is, WE didn’t. God was there to strengthen us. I’ve wondered, too, what this “magic” strengthening might be. I realize that there is a definite strength that lies in Christ and in the Atonement, but I also wonder if a lot of it comes from simply knowing that we have someone on our side who won’t let us fail. Someone who loves us unconditionally. Someone who always sees our best qualities. One of the most empowering feelings in my life is when I feel unconditionally loved and supported by someone. In addition to all the other blessings so readily provided by our Savior, I’ve recently been particularly grateful for that. People can come and go, and relationships will ebb as we grow closer and further apart, but God’s love is unchanging.
Lately, I have tried to take this scripture story to heart and change the way I pray and the way I view the "opportunities for growth" I have in my life :) Instead of praying for relationships to go the way that I want them to, I’ve been praying that I will have the strength to make the decisions God would want me to and then to stick with them. Instead of praying for God to just make a decision for me in regards to my future, I have been trying to pray that I will have the strength to make a decision with His guidance and then diligently work toward that. Learning sure does happen in a very uncomfortable place. It’s not always fun to try to navigate experiences that are meant to challenge us, whether that is physically, emotionally or even spiritually. But! I know in who we should trust, and I know where we can find relief.
As always, thanks for reading and thanks for giving me the space to express my thoughts :) Love you too much!!!
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