When the call from the doctor came, it felt like the ground beneath my feet had caved in. After two years of marriage, my husband and I found out that we would not be able to have children. We were devastated. All my hopes and dreams seemed out of reach. We grieved, we cried, we prayed, we turned to each other and we turned to the Lord. These verses in the Doctrine & Covenants gave us so much peace, comfort and perspective: “Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation. For after much tribulation come the blessings.” (D&C 58:3-4)
Fast forward two years later to another life-changing phone call. This time, it was about a birthmother who wanted to place her soon-to-be-born twin daughters for adoption in our family. We were overjoyed. Days later, we drove to St. Louis to meet the birthmother and birthfather. We have so much love and admiration for these two people who made the most difficult of decisions and gave us the most precious gifts.
Less than two months later, the girls were born. We got to be there at the hospital for their birth. We watched nervously and excitedly as they wheeled the girls into the NICU. The nurse at reception who gave me my visitor’s name-tag labeled, “Mom”, may not have thought much of it, but to me this name-tag was everything. I was a Mom.
I was their Mom. My dreams had just come true.
The road to adoption did not come without its challenges. It was long, heart wrenching and emotionally exhausting at times, but ultimately we trusted that it was all in Heavenly Father’s hands. And it was. Three weeks after the girls were born, we were awarded legal custody of the girls. Our girls!! After the court hearing, we rushed to the hospital to see our little angels.
Six months later, we were sealed in the St. Louis Temple for time and all eternity. It was the happiest, most heavenly day of my life.
I do not doubt God’s awareness of me, for I know He knows me. He knows my heart. He knows my desires. I do not doubt God’s love for me. I see it every day as I watch my daughters learn and grow and laugh and play. I do not doubt God’s plan for me, because only He could orchestrate something as beautiful and perfect as the adoption of our sweet little girls. I do not doubt that His way is better than my way, because I could have never dreamed of the great blessings and glory that have come…after much tribulation.
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