"...our faith in God includes faith in God’s timing, enough to be able to say, in effect, “Thy timing be done” (see D&C 64:32)."
--Elder Neal A. Maxwell
The above quote has been a favorite of mine for many years, and I thought I had the meaning of it all figured out. There were many circumstances in my life which convinced me of the truth of this statement. The most obvious of these has to do with the fact that I did not get married until I was almost 28 years old. Many of my friends had at least 2 children by the time I got married. One of my best friends has a daughter in 1st grade, and my first child is still in the womb. I had dated more guys than it is worth counting at the moment. BUT, throughout it all, even though I had moments where it was a REAL struggle for me, I could also see the immense blessings that came from not being married younger. I got to serve a mission, finish my degree, move to a new state, teach school to some of the most beautiful children on earth, travel, serve in the church in various capacities, and many other things that would not have happened had I been married at 22--or even 25! So in the end, I am grateful for how my life has turned out.
But yesterday, as my husband and I were enjoying a quiet, lazy Saturday morning cuddling in bed--hopefully that's not too graphic ;)--I got kind of sad when I realized that in a few short months, our lives were going to change forever, and mornings like that were going to virtually vanish. 20 weeks from now, there will be a little one who is going to require a lot of attention, and we won't always have the luxury of time together. Then I started to think about how it had all come about. My husband and I hadn't even been married for a 2 months when I started to receive very strong promptings that we needed to start trying to have a baby. I had, what I thought, were some very valid reasons for feeling like this was crazy--or at least that the timing was. They included things like, "We are still getting to know each other and getting used to living together. Surely we shouldn't add another one to the mix." Or, "If I get pregnant now, I'll have the baby in the middle of the school year. That's definitely not convenient." Or, "Right now we are saving SO much money with both of us working and still living frugally. We should probably wait a little bit so we can save more."
I struggled with thoughts like these for about 2 months before I even told my husband what I had been feeling. When I finally told him, we worked through things together, and eventually we decided that I would go off birth control and see how it went. Within 2 weeks, I was pregnant. Honestly, I was expecting it to take a few months, and sometimes, I'm still not sure if the timing of things is very convenient. (With that being said, I am SOOOO grateful that I did get pregnant so quickly, because I know of many, many women for whom it does not happen that easily. I do NOT want to sound ungrateful.) My baby is due in March. I am a teacher, and school doesn't get out until the middle of June. After the 6 weeks of maternity leave, we still have almost 2 months of school left. Do I quit? Do I come back and leave the baby with someone else while I work? My husband and I will have been married barely a year by the time the baby comes. CRAZY, right?!
But, I am trying to have faith that even when things happen EARLIER than we plan on, or think is right, the Lord knows what He's doing. Even when we are asked to do things that we do not feel ready for, or qualified for, His timing is perfect. So we have to jump right in with both feet. At least that's what I keep telling myself, because ready or not, in 20 weeks, I'm going to be a mom. Eeek!
Messages of Faith
Our blog contributors will deliver consistent messages of faith to try and help all of us come closer to our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Subscribe and receive an
e-mail update every time we post!