I feel shaky and somewhat surreal. Is everything really all right? I am walking away from a could-be tragedy unharmed and back to normal. What about those people where the tragedy actually fully takes place, how do I become one of the saved. I don’t know, but I know that it was a little prayer today that made all the difference.
I was driving home from a workout class, one of the friends in the class gave me an apple to take with me. My son loves anything round and believes all round things are “balls”. So of course I gave the apple to Samuel to play with, just as I had done many times before at home. He was sitting in his carseat with his pacifier in his mouth and I figured he could hold onto the apple as he drifted to sleep on our way home. A few minutes into the drive I heard a few coughing sounds coming from the backseat. I wasn’t too alarmed. I opened my yogurt and had a still small voice say “even though it’s eating on-the-go you should still say a prayer” so I did, I said a prayer for my yogurt and a prayer that everyone from the work-out class would make it home safe.
I drove a little further and heard coughs with pauses between them, ones that didn’t sound very normal. Though I was probably being “over-cautious” I decided to pull over and go in the backseat to see what was going on. As soon as I did I saw my son choking, turning red, and unable to breath at this point. I quickly un-buckled him from the carseat and laid him over my knees while hitting on his back- nothing. He was now stiffening and his face was ballooning in pain. I thrust my hand into his mouth and using a hook-like method with my finger, dug for whatever was impeding his airway. I couldn’t grasp anything, and he was still not breathing. At this point I had that realization and thought “he could die”. I finally dug deep enough to create a gag-reflex as mucus came spilling out. I heard a small cry come from his lips, and all I could think was how close it was between life and death. 15 more seconds and I wouldn’t hear anything, but right in the very moment it needed to- my prayer was fully answered.
Samuel was pale and uneasy for a few minutes as I re-assured him he was fully capable to breath. We walked out of the car and looked at the newly fallen leaves nearby, I took his shoes off and he put his toes beneath the mud and grass. He was grateful to still be in this beautiful world and I was grateful to have my beautiful boy. This was a moment that could have changed a lifetime, it felt like losing balance on a tight-rope, or like swerving in front of that diesel just in time. Those moments that tell us there is more to all of this than luck. I know there were angels there with me in my car, they were calming my motions, giving me the ability to think, and helping take that bite of apple out of my little son’s throat. The holy ghost, or spirit of God, was what helped me to pray. It told me that it was a good idea, and then it helped me on what to pray for. I am grateful for faith, it is the moving cause of all action, as Joseph Smith once stated.
Heavenly Father is there in every moment, He gives us opportunities to listen to His still, small voice, until we can come to know exactly how He speaks to us. I am in awe of His decision to let my son live, He was the one who saved him, and I seek to live in a way that always brings others to the source of my salvation, His son, Jesus Christ. Having a son makes me understand a little more what it means to give one up, to sacrifice their life, and I am so grateful that Mary gave her son so that I do not have to give mine.
Messages of Faith
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