At Gavin's one month appointment the doctor said everything looked great, but that we should encourage him to turn his head to the right a little more often; he was favoring the left and was starting to strain those little muscles. Being the overachieving new mom that I was, we practiced ALL the time. I quickly became frustrated when he decided he did not want to play along with my little games. The fact was, he didn't like turning his head to the right and wasn't going to play along!
One afternoon after a feeding, I placed Gavin on the changing table. Miracle of miracles, he turned his head to the right. Not only that, he smiled! I was so pleased that we were finally making progress! At every diaper change my little boy would turn his head to the right. It was the only time he would voluntarily do so. I didn't know why it was happening but I was grateful. One day, Gavin was doing a great job turning his head and gave the biggest smile. It was a full on grin, accompanied by a penetrating stare to the right. I followed his gaze for the first time and was stunned. There, on our wall, was a painting of the Savior. I looked at Gavin, then back at the painting. There was no mistaking the fact that his eyes were locked on the face of Jesus Christ. I scooped my baby boy up in my arms and held him closer to the picture. My eyes filled with tears when my usually squirmy newborn became perfectly still. The spirit filled my heart and I knew I was witnessing a tiny miracle. My son was literally turning to the Savior.
In the days following that quiet moment with my baby, I was comforted. Our sweet experience reminded me of the love I have for Jesus Christ and His love for me. His perfect atonement meant that He knew what I was going through. He knew how I felt when I didn't know how to comfort my screaming baby. He knew how tired I was and how I felt completely inadequate at times. He felt my pain when I looked at my baby and remembered that we would have to go through more rounds of IVF to give him a sibling. He knew me, and He knew my sorrows. And it took my newborn son to remind me to turn to the Savior for comfort and peace. My perfect, sweet, angel son.
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